I guess this is the opposite of love story. I don't know what to call the feeling that we have but it is mutual. It took us a long while, but we have figured out and voiced the fact that even though we are simultaneously the same person and each other's opposites, we can't be together again. If we tried, our current situations would cause a great amount of resentment because I'm still trying to figure my life out and he's working on his. We live too far away and are probably going to be even further apart in a few months. If we try, there is a greater chance that it will fail, and our failures result in not being able to even speak for a while. I'm just not willing to risk not talking to him again for another few years just to try to uphold a relationship that has no chance right now. I think he feels the same way. So we date other people, and we lie to each other about things that could hurt. I know it sounds terrible, but I appreciate the lies. In a messed up way I know the truth but the lies are just because he is just trying to protect me and vice versa. I don't lie to selfishly keep him around. I lie because I know there are things he doesn't need to hear. I guess this is what sometimes "love" turns into when it doesn't work. Strong feelings don't ever really disappear do they? I feel very at peace with this situation even though I don't fully understand the emotions involved... maybe in a few years it can be something again or maybe we'll be lucky and meet people whom we can fall in love with.
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